Meet Recovery Rockstar Amy
My name is Amy and I am 42 year-old recovering addict. I've been clean for 9 years. I'm very grateful to be alive and to be able to share my story in hopes of helping someone else who is suffering from addiction.
Please know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
My drugs of choice were marijuana, alcohol, and meth. I grew up in a home where alcohol and drugs were always present. Over the years my mother and her significant other(s) abused numerous drugs.
Using drugs to "NOT FEEL" was pretty normal for me. I was born in Chicago and I'm the eldest of three children. My mother is an addict and as far back as I can remember she abused drugs. She had a few long term boyfriends who were also addicts or alcoholics. Needless to say, my home life was quite unpredictable. I didn't like my mother from age 8. She was a narcissus on top of her addiction so she was always her main priority. She did not physically abuse me, it was more mental.
However, he did physically abuse my brother. Always right in front of me. The only child my mom didn't abuse was my sister, who was the youngest child in the family. My mom supported us on welfare and also prostituted herself.
When I was 12 years old we moved to San Diego. When we arrived I felt hopeful. I thought we were going to have a fresh star and hoped San Diego was going to renew our family. After a months stay at St Vincent DePaul's Shelter, we got an apartment in East San Diego. It was a 2 bedroom apartment which was shared by 8 people; mother’s boyfriend, his two children, and one grandchild.
Soon after arriving, the adults started using meth. They would stay up late at night and sleep during the day. After roughly a year of living in this apartment e moved into a house in North Park.
I became a proud student at Roosevelt Jr High School and absolutely loved it. I did extremely well during my first year at Roosevelt an I met my first close friend.
As it turned out her mother was a meth dealer. She had an older brother with lots of teenage friends. Needless to say, spent a lot of time over at her house and that's when I started doing meth. I became instantly addicted.
From there, I began stealing meth from my mother's boyfriend and his son. They
were full on meth addicts and had moved from the house to the garage. They would abuse meth or days and days out in the garage. They really only came into the house to eat, shower, and sleep.
After I became addicted to meth, began running away. I would stay here and there and just hang out all night. When I lived on the streets, I met a boy and we had a daughter together when I was 17. I did not use drugs while I was pregnant. I moved back home for a brief time then got my first apartment. That lasted for a short time after her birth and my mother cared for her.
I was not ready to be a mother and didn't want to stop using meth. The abuse continued until I was 18 years old. I ended up living with an older man who was an ex-felon and a dealer. With so much meth at my disposal I started to lose my mind!
I went into a crisis house which helped me come out of a drug induced psychosis. It took almost 3 weeks. I became pregnant again on purpose to ensure I would not use again & I didn’t…for awhile. I was able to stay clean for 3 years after completing a 1 year program. I had a relapse that lasted a few weeks and then decided I would no longer use meth.
I could no longer harm myself, I HATED this drug. I did however continue to smoke pot and drink occasionally.
A NEW CHAPTER
I finally decided to quit everything in November of 2006 as my eldest child began her own addiction. In order to encourage her to stop I knew I needed to. I have not used any substance since 11/15/06. I attend NA meetings and work with a sponsor.
I worked all 12 steps and came out of that with the realization that I needed to accept and take responsibility for my own life. This has changed my world. I no longer feel like a victim or blame my childhood for the choices I made. I understand that I am an addict and I am recovering one day at a time. I make sure and have fun in recovery. I love to spend time with my family, travel, and attend live shows. I love to geek out at Comicon and Monsterpalooza
and other events like these. My higher power has so much planned for me.
I am lucky enough to get to experience life with a clear mind and conscience. I am an awesome mom and friend. I am staying humble as the days and years pass and know full well that if I pick up and use anything again, I may not come back to this beautiful life.
To any one that may be new to recovery I would say give yourself a chance. You deserve to live life fully and shit does get better!