The sky's the limit now that Evan is one year sober
I SOMEHOW MADE IT AN ENTIRE YEAR SOBER, AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY ADULT LIFE I FEEL LIKE THE SKY'S THE LIMIT. I'll never really understand all the how's and why's that I was given a second chance... but I read somewhere that every addict stops drinking and drugging eventually, it's just a matter of whether or not you're still alive for it. I am, thanks to a loving God, family and friends.
I never ever ever ever thought about giving up drugs and alcohol until that night I felt so desperate that I cried out for help, and now I never want to look back. Its not easy every day. No ones life is. But I've realized in this past year, that no matter how long the process may seem, and as hard as it can be at times, as long as I keep doing the next right thing, then I would rather be crawling to my future than running back to my past.
I am SO grateful I got a chance to recover, to make myself whole. To learn that alcohol and drugs were never my problem... alcohol and drugs had been my solution and THAT was the problem. Chemicals can only numb pain for so long, and then I am stuck with problems far worse than when I began. It's like this, chemicals don't work for a spiritual problem. Only me and my God can successfully handle a spiritual problem. Together. And I'm trying to be Spiritual AF.
Life isn't perfect, and I've learned A LOT about choosing patience over instant gratification, but things have gradually started to piece themselves back together. Mentally. Emotionally. Physically. Spiritually. One after another, these blessings keep coming into my life, like little pats on the back as if God is saying, THIS is how you were supposed to do it. It doesn't mean hard times won't come and blessings are around every corner, but that doesn't matter because the greatest reward of sobriety besides getting to live, is getting to live with character and integrity. Getting to be proud of my decisions instead of hide from their consequences and getting to bring the best out in others and not the worst anymore.
I'm not perfect and I'll always make mistakes but at least now I CARE when I do. And I can learn from those mistakes, and make adjustments. I think I could go all day about the different amazing ways that sobriety has changed me and my world, and I want anyone struggling with addiction to know: ITS FUCKING WORTH IT. But instead of listing the many blessings that have come back into my life, I just wanted to mention some things that I got to learn, or re learn, and carry me through each day. Things that may seem obvious to most, but I could never do or believe in active addiction:
This life is a gift. I have sight in my eyes, sound in my ears, and breath in my lungs. Use my blessings to bless others. Every single day look for an opportunity.
Perfect My Character- the rest will come in time
Don't regret something that God may use to save someone else's life. My mess isnow my message.
Forgive myself. Move on. Leave the past where it belongs.
It's not happiness that makes me grateful but gratefulness that makes me happy
Always be Grateful Humble Calm and Loving- and leave each person better for having met or heard you
My addiction affected everyone around me, make sure my recovery does too