The 12 steps freed Danny from mental torture

My name is Danny, I am an alcoholic. I drank essentially for the effect produced by alcohol. Before my first drink I felt lonely, restless, irritable, and discontent. My reaction to life was driven by fear. But when I had my first drink at 14 years old It was my first spiritual experience. All the pain, anxiety, depression and all pressures of life flew off my shoulders. I felt like a new person. So I took this feeling and ran with it.

Later in my drinking led to blacking out, falling asleep in parks and stoops, and burning bridges with people who cared most about me. I didn't allow anything to stand in the way of my drinking because it was the only thing that made me feel right inside. Until one day alcohol stopped working, it no longer gave me the comfort it use to give me. So I kept drinking and drinking to oblivion to where I didn't know who I was or where my purpose was here on earth. I was disconnected from myself and the people around me. I was in my own hell.

Few things happened along the way that landed me in the rooms of AA. I worked the steps outlined in the big book and had a second spiritual experience but this time it was by God. I found that my whole life, I was chasing to get right inside by looking in the wrong places. I had a God sized hole in my heart and tried to fill it with every external thing in life, BUT God. The 12 steps freed me from the mental torture for the next drink and filled my spiritual malady with God's love. God removed the mental obsession to drink.

We can recover from a hopeless state of mind and body. We don't have to stay sick. We can get well, and show others the same freedom we found. 

-God bless