Danielle is over 2 years sober and is now her true self
Sober date: March 16, 2015
I started my recovery journey in 2013. My life had become unmanageable, and I needed to get sober. I was in great denial at that point in my life that I truly had a problem. My life was a mess, but I was convinced in my head that if I stopped drinking for a while, that eventually I could drink again socially. I had no idea how wrong I was.
My drinking really escalated after a break up (that needed to happen) which caused me to become deeply depressed, and I struggled daily with severe panic attacks, and was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. I started using alcohol to cope with my problems, and escape from them. This all lead to 2013 when everything fell apart, and then began my journey in recovery.
Of course, given my sobriety date, it is obvious I struggled with staying sober in the beginning. I finally had enough. I had demons from my past that haunted me which I never dealt with, and when we rolled into 2015 I started to accept the fact that I would have to live a life without alcohol. My house of cards was crumbling around me. I had told so many lies to try to hide my addiction, it was becoming difficult to keep them straight anymore. I didn't want this life. I hated it, I cried everyday at the person I had become, and I just wanted a way out. I wanted to be me again. My true, honest self.
Mar 16, 2015 was the first day with no substances in my system, and God willing it will be the last. That month I joined a daily six week outpatient group therapy program. That place, that program, all the drop in groups, and one of one therapy saved my life. I dove in head first and filled my days with recovery, spent a lot of time with my family, wrote my gratitude lists, and spent many of my days at a meditation centre on the Sunshine Coast. I have also done different retreats, and volunteered there. I believe in the power of the universe, and the meditation centre is such an amazing spiritual place, where I can just be.
Live in the moment, and listen to the universe. I joined different fellowships where I had support, and got to give back by speaking at a high school and a detox centre. Spreading light, love and positive vibes. I even met my husband in the sober world. I had a sense of community, and I was around people who were just like me, and understood me. My true self, no mask on anymore. The life I have today because of sobriety is beyond my wildest dreams. Getting sober can be painful, and it takes commitment, hard work, and acceptance. But it is worth every single minute. I had to face all my demons head on, sober, and not escape anymore. The best part is, it sets you free. My house of cards came crashing down around me, and it was the best thing that could have happened. I was free. I was not hiding anymore or ashamed, and I stopped lying. I finally had the courage to ask for help, and make a lot of amends. I no longer have to live with the pain of the past, or constantly tear myself down for the mistakes I've made. I am not the mistakes I have made. I am so grateful for my life now, and I have fought hard to get here. If someone told me two years ago I would be where I am today, I would have never believed them. Living life with my clear blue eyes wide open and being present in each moment is such an incredible gift. Sobriety is a lifelong journey with endless possibilities, and I will keep going one day at a time. I am here, I am sober, I am me! Keep fighting all you sober warriors out there, you are not alone!