Amanda is over 2 years in recovery and the happiest she's ever been
I know what it's like to have a few things. I had a career only to give it up for a $10 bag. I went from walking the runway in front of thousands of people to walking the streets meeting the dope man. I had it all, the house, the cars, the dog, the boyfriend, the career, the world in the palm of my hand. I believed I was invincible.
I can remember growing up in a small town. Spending summers in the woods, having bonfires, riding quads, mudding in big lifted trucks/jeeps, drinking, smoking, but I always wanted more. I began living the fast paced club life in the city. Working in the scene became my life. I was the life of the party, everyone wanted to party with me.
I involved myself heavily in the drug world, I knew what the lifestyle entailed, yet I did it anyways because I loved the chaos. Getting held up a knife point, and a car jacking robbed at gunpoint, are just a few things that occurred. It was all apart of the lifestyle. I knew what I was getting involved with; this stuff happens, right? So I thought ...
I decided to make some geographical changes, quite often. Thinking if I just moved away, I could start fresh, maybe stop drinking/using. It became worse. After the isolation, depression, multiple suicide attempts, and a few serious consequences including facing jail time. I finally surrendered March 11, 2015.
I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was broken, desperate, and hopeless. Thank God for the gift of desperation.
Now having just celebrated 2 years in recovery, I can remember thinking, I'm going to die a junkie, and I was okay with it. Today, I am not okay with dying that way! Today, I am beyond grateful for this second chance at life! When I walked through the doors of that treatment facility, I did not walk in with a party hat on. I listened, took a few suggestions, and things started to just happen. I got a sponsor, a home-group, and I got in service right away. I put action into this program immediately because for me, it was a life or death situation, and even with two years, I still believe that.
I have gained quite a few things in this program; many different rewards. Working with another addict/alcoholic has been the most rewarding; being able to watch them grow in this program and in life. I have less materialistic things then I've ever had in my life, and I am the happiest I've ever been. I used to be real Gucci on the outside and KMart on the inside. Today I am KMart on the outside and Gucci on the inside. You cannot put a price tag on peace of mind.
The only thing I do perfectly this far is not pick up, one day at a time! Hold on, and put on your seat belt, it's going to be a bumpy, magical ride! This program has saved my life, and it can do the same for you! Recovery is possible, you are worth it! Give yourself a chance, you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain!